she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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