i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
