Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just high enough for therapy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
