yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
