whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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