i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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