I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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