dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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