Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
