That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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