I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
