HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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