***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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