i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize