do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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