Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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