I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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