she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
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I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the liver wants what the liver wants
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's shark week go big or go home
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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