Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I touched a dick in church today
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
