Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize