i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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