he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
