So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
