Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
