You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
