You really coming over, don't trick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
