Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
