what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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