thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
