i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
