Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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