I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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