so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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