It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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