Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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