halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
