This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
