He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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