Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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