i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
