terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize