I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
