So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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