I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
