I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
