I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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