it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
