better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
