508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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