Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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