I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
