You're my little dorito
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
