hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
