what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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