My hand turned me down
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
