In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
