we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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