So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
