yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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