Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
